Saturday:

This is what Saturday will be like:

Scene: In the warmly lit kitchen of Mom and Dad fivefootgiant. Dogs wrestling each other - crashing into tables and chairs. Boy looking nervously at Cailly.
ME(to nervous boy): So. Did you know you are most likely related to my sister, the same person you are dating?
BOY: (awkward silence)
CAILIN: This is so awkward. Isn't this awkward?
ME: Just something to think about if you two ever want to have kids. Not like you are. Because you know, teenagers shouldn't have sex. Especially with my little sister who is only just a baby.
BOY: (wants to run from this place and never come back)
JAY: teehee.
ME: Um, anyway. (thinking) Ok, ready? If Cailin is stranded on an island and could only bring on thing, what would it be?
BOY: Um. Dunno.
ME: That is so typical. What's her favorite coffee? 711, Starbucks, or Wawa? Huh?
BOY: Uh -
Me: You don't know do you?
JAY: (laughs) Dude. You've got to know her favorite coffee.
ME: What are your views on spider removal?
BOY: I believe all animals are created equal and have the same right to life. I would leave it alone and buy tiny flies to feed it.
ME: Wrong answer.
JAY: You should have said spiders are creators of evil and need to be disposed of immediately.
BOY: That' s what I meant.
ME: When Cailin grows up does she want to: a. cure world hunger b. facilitate world peace or c. save the sea turtles
BOY: Cure world hunger?
ME: That was a trick question. It's d. be a travel writer. Duh.
Boy: (blinks)
ME: Come on Cailly. We're leaving.
JAY: teehee. World hunger...
BOY: Slinks back to his car never to be seen again.

There you go Cailin. Just so you can prepare him. You better make sure he knows these things.