Monday, August 06, 2007

LA Number Two

This may be a completely incomprehensible blog post because I am sitting in the tiny airport that is Long Beach, Ca (and by tiny, I mean scary tiny - but also cool because everyone seems to travel with their dogs) after a five day (I can't calculate how many hours that is at this time and in my current condition) writing conference that is absolutely the most exciting and fun place to be if you are an aspiring writer. Or as they say at this conference - 'prepublished.' Everyday started by 8:30 am and went non-stop to lunch. Speaker after glorious speaker offered up their inspirations and insights. Lunch was a massive rush to either the fancy food court across the street in the fancy outside mall for a broccoli and cheese baked potato and a side chopped salad, or to the lunch of prepared sandwiches outside the famous LA ballroom where all the keynote speaker did their thing. Here are the average prices of this prepared sandwich lunch outside the ballroom (note this location was actually IN the hotel).
1. Sandwich, no cheese or condiments: $7.50.
2. Bottle of water or soda: $4.25
3. Piece of whole fruit: $3.00
We realized on day three that if you took the escalator up two levels to the lobby, you could find the same piece of fruit for $1 and a bottle of water for something more like $2.

After lunch, we returned refreshed and ready for an afternoon of more workshops and inspiration. It was fantastic. I didn't skip an entire one. And then, usually around 5:30 the day was over and we retired to our rooms for about a half hour to get ready for whatever festivities were planned that night - eg. cocktail parties, art portfolio displays, Mongolian throat singers (really), By the Light of the Silvery Moon parties, or just hanging out in the bar area with a group of friends and watching all the famous people come and go. Besides ALL the famous authors/illustrator/agents/editors, we also saw a Baldwin brother. I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that we are already making plans on how we can return again next year.

LA number three!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Fashion in the work place.

This is what work looks like for me lately:

Step 1.
Enter super vacuum sealed room #1, put hair in ponytail (after just drying it of course to look professional and put together at the work place), pull fluorescent blue shirt over my regular shirt and then pat down because they say it's a 'Medium' when really all the shirts are one size fits all - sized gigundo. Pat hair down because gigundo fluorescent shirt is always zapped full of static. Now, with hair plastered to my head and looking blueberry fantastic, I pull on matching blue fluorescent pants. Dust off fashionable lab goggles and put on face (or at this point, realize I forgot my goggles - undress, and start over after retrieving them.) Don hair net. Feel thankful I don't have facial hair and can skip face mask step. Move to yellow line in the middle of the room. Balancing very carefully, extend one foot in the air, pull on shoe cover and step over the line without falling. Repeat for foot number 2. Apply latex gloves. Spray self with alcohol while holding breath. Move into hallway.
Step 2.
Enter vacuum sealed room #2. Move directly to line in the middle of the room, repeat balancing/extending foot/applying shoe cover feat again. This time with white shoe covers. We are now moving out of the blueberry stage.
Step 3.
Enter vacuum sealed room #3. (At this point we are deep in the gully of what we call the 'clean suite'. There is no noise except for rushing air. No birds even.) Shake out full body marshmallow suite - that is also 'one sized fits all' medium. Put on without letting a single piece of fabric touch the floor (this is an impossibility for the record. Especially since each vacuum sealed room gets considerably smaller) Move to yellow line in the middle of the room and step into knee-high booties one at a time. Pull them up and tie them around ankle. Enter clean suite looking quite like a marshmallow and very professional. Voila!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


Summer is always so busy. I could totally be a stay at home mom right now without any kids there is so much to be done. Namely:
1. Put together a filing cabinet, large bookcase (already put the small bookcase together - yay!), and front entrance thingy/bookcase/table.
2. Laundry. Like a lot of it.
3. Get an entirely new wardobe or at least stop wearing around the pants that need to be hemmed but I keep wearing them anyway.
4. Feed the dog. On time. And maybe take him for a walk here and there.
5. Clean out my car that somehow is all of a sudden ransacked again. How did that happen??
6. Go grocery shopping for real. None of this - buy an orange here and there and pick up milk at the local gas station. I have eaten a hot pocket twice for dinner this week. It's a desperate situation.
7. Pick up my bridesmaid dress that was ready two weeks ago. The wedding is in a week. I still have time. Unless it doesn't fit....Hmmm....
8. Which reminds me, BUY WEDDING GIFTS. Dangit.
9. Wrap Father's Day gift for this weekend. Yes, I know it was two weeks ago.
10. Vaccuum the upstairs hallway because it's possible it hasn't been vacuumed since we moved in. Note: This requires hauling the 300 pound vaccuum up the stairs.
11. Buy a new, lighter vaccuum cleaner.
12. Remember to call my best friend on her bday tomorrow.
13. Return my very overdue library books so other people in this world can enjoy Uglies, Pretties, Life as We Knew It, and Katie Kazoo Switcheroo.
14. Empty the garbage.
15. Get my oil changed.

And that is mostly what I have to do.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Writing advice.

Guy at work: How long did it take you to get to work today?
Me: One and a half hours. (note: This was 55 minutes longer than my typical commute and minus a good audio book. You can only imagine how lovely it will be to work with me today.)
Guy at work: I don't want to offend you but did you know traffic causes premature aging?
Me: Uh - (makes a mental note to inspect for spontaneous appearance of grey hair and/or wrinkles in bathroom)
Guy at work: It's the stress. Maybe you should invent an in-car work out machine. So you can work out while in traffic.
Me: That is a fantastic idea.
Guy at work: Perhaps it would be more profitable than writing your novel.
Me: (drinks my too-hot mug of tea, thinking he is so right.)

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

meeting the family...the WHOLE family

So this weekend mike and I went up to his mountain house. we went up on thursday and met his grand parents up there, and on friday night the rest of the family came up. i met all his aunts and uncle and cousins. at first it was super awkward because they put mike to work for most of saturday and i has to put myself out there and try to talk to people while me alone. it was really difficult at first because they all had that cousin bond and stuff. they are a really close family. the girls wet into town and i tried to talk to them but it was too hard! so i just kept to myself. but as the weekend went on it got alot better. i starting talking to everyone and now im not shy around them at all! overall the weekend was nothing short of AMAZING! i had so much fun. and the best part is that i got to spend every moment with mike and i could spend even more time with him.

however there were a few really awkward relatives who thinks that they are funny. there were only 2. one was Stosh (spelling??) he would say things like "where's Michael? you guys should be together making out or something" just weird comments like that. and then the one fam friend told me that i had really nice teeth and then he called me a "oh you devil you" it was weird.


Monday, May 21, 2007


Back to the real world...(BIG sigh.) A world in which voice, characters, and conflict mean entirely different things than they do in a comfy little cabin in the middle of the Shenandoah valley with fifteen other writers. It was fantastic. The best year yet (which I say every year...and mean it). I wonder what next year will bring?


HMMM WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I BLOGGED? oops sorry about the caps but im too lazy to go back and retype the whole thing.

thank the dear lord that school is almost over, these past couple weeks have been horrible. lets go period by period

english: i had a term paper sue that we were working on in class for like 3 weeks... the day before the due date, I went to work on it in class only to find that it has been completely deleted. i was so frustrated and pissed off that i couldn't even start it again in class. so i went to the library for the first time and did my entire term paper in about 6 hours. it was nott fun!

religion: we had to take this survey thing that was like "1-strongly agree 2-agree 3-don't know 4-disagree 5-strongly disagree" and then we had a bunch of questions and she picked one person who put a 1 and another person who out a 5, then they had to go up and duke it out in front of the class and argue. of course i was picked. mine was "homosexuals should have the right to marry" i put 1-strongly agree and i had to argue with this other guy who put a 5. lets just say can't even look at him anymore. he is such a jerk, everytime i see him i want to wrap my hands around his close minded little head and squeeze....and i sit behind him in my 3rd period. ugh

math: i sit behind the close minded/cocky/jerk kid i argued with...enough said. oh, and im failing math withagood old 70, blah...

latin: i DESPISE this class...well the teacher. i can;t even express the words to explain this man. basically he thinks he is Gods greatest gift to the world. by the time this year is walking out of this class. i will let you know how it goes. i only have 11 days left to do it.

chem: this class is a complete joke...yet in still failing

LUNCH: UGH this period is paradise. i get to see mike! :)

history: boring boring BORING class. thats all i have to say

shakespeare: ahahahahaha this class is the worst. i got yelled at for looking at the loves me...NOT!

and thats my day. but these are just the bad things that have happened in these classes since my prom.

omg i went to mike prom and it by far surpasses my prom. it was SO much fun. i went to this kid buddy's house after....hahahah o god good times. and the best thing was that i didnt really know anyone but they made me feel completely comfortable.

im leaving for the mountains with mike's family this weekend. im so nervous! but im so excited. i can not wait until summer!!!!

only 11 school days and 22 regular days until summer!!!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Hm. So this new guy over here at work insists at calling me 'Hon' or 'Dear.' The first time it happened I didn't answer him because I had no idea he was talking to me. I mean, who calls a basically complete stranger that you just started working with a few days before - hon? No matter that I'm actually a year older than him and a level above him at work. Grr.

It's almost as innapropriate as when I signed my email 'love you' to my boss at my last job. But that was a complete and mortifying accident that the entire company knew about five seconds after it happened because my boss kept saying, 'I didn't know you loved me' whenever possible. But, this guy means it. And I've heard him say it to another girl - who didn't answer him either, thinking he was talking to his wife on his cell phone. Also, I have witnessed him call our very serious boss who does not like joking at all unless it is work related and scientific in nature - a nickname.

He is looking for trouble I tell you.